


A J Crowley's Guide to Managing an Angel during an Earthly Crisis

by Dusty



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Cuddles, Dom Crowley (Good Omens), Humour, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Light Dom/sub, Love, M/M, Naughty Aziraphale (Good Omens), Spanking, Sub Aziraphale (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:27:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23718181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dusty/pseuds/Dusty
Summary: Crowley has made notes on handling his worried little angel and beloved husband during earth's latest crisis.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 30
Kudos: 192





	A J Crowley's Guide to Managing an Angel during an Earthly Crisis

Being a thorough reference guide to managing one A Z Fell, AKA Heaven's Brat, by Anthony J Crowley, a tired demon.

**Attention**

Keep your angel occupied. He will worry about the humans otherwise. Keep his To Be Read (TBR) book pile close at hand. Reward him when he finishes reading one. A biscuit will do. Daily reminders about social distancing are important, as your angel often forgets what century it is anyway, so company is advised should your angel need or request a walk. Check in on your angel regularly - just so he knows you're watching. He may pretend to be annoyed by being 'mollycoddled', but after a few drinks he will confess he adores it. 

**Routine**

Your angel's days were usually punctuated by food and drink, being the only regularity as the shop was only really open when the angel felt like it. Ensure breakfast, elevenses, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner, and night caps are not forgotten. This will help give your angel daily structure and prevent him from growing confused or anxious. Reading time, cooking time and an evening walk should be the same every day. Set an alarm on your phone, if it helps, to avoid the pouting.

**Love**

Angels need love. Bringing food and opening wine can convey this. Putting a favourite record on helps. Allow cuddles where necessary. He might pretend he doesn't need them, but your angel will glow and relax if you create proximity. Also note - he glows even more if you fall asleep on him. You can also show love by not dripping wine on the floor. 

**Meals**

Feed your angel. Breakfast is a cup of tea and buttered toast. Not cereals. It can be pancakes, but only at weekends. It's important to keep up the distinction as your angel wants to feel like he's earned the pancakes by not having them during the week. Elevenses is a good coffee - usually a cappuccino with chocolate sprinkles, and a sweet something. Lunch should be highly nutritious with plenty of vegetables and lean meat, followed by pudding and custard. Always ask your angel if afternoon tea is just a cup of tea or additional nibbles - he can become fractious if this is assumed. Dinner can be a light soup. Do not forget the cocoa or the pouting happens. Ask before helping yourself to a bottle of wine in case he was 'saving it for something'. 

**Hope**

Your angel needs hope as much as he needs love. Now is not the time for dark cynicism or jokes about the end times, or sharing memes about death. And don't mention real estate on Alpha Centauri. Instead, tell your angel about anything 'good' or 'nice' you may have heard about, such as neighbours sharing vegetable boxes, or another TikTok video of a nurse singing and dancing. However, for the sake of your own mental health, do not let your angel download TikTok under any circumstances. Just keep telling him Hell developed the app. You cannot support your angel if you've hanged yourself.

**Discipline**

Your angel's behaviour may become more challenging given the psychological strain of being in lockdown and/or isolation. He may feel increasingly out of control and uncertain. This is very unhealthy for your angel, and it is natural that he may start to be difficult. Mostly he just needs more love and reassurance, but there will be times when boundaries will have to be reinforced.

If your angel misbehaves (including sass), 9 times out of 10, a good glare is very effective. Your angel should wiggle a bit, then apologise. Sometimes with a little kiss, depending on the grade of the glare.

Do not shout at or chase your angel. It only encourages bad behaviour, as he seems to enjoy it. If he is particularly naughty (such as making unnecessary trips to food outlets while you were napping, or deliberate deceit such as lying), remain calm but distant, and sit him down facing the history of war books for at least 15 minutes. Not rising to his bad behaviour is important, and punishments should coolly reinforce the undesirability of his actions. He does most things for attention and to rile you because he wants someone else to take control, but that is still naughty. In severe cases, withholding nibbles or the next meal makes the point. Do not pay any attention to the snuffling or the big eyes, and definitely ignore the tantrum. 

Special note: Do not be tempted to spank your angel. Not so much as a little smack on the bottom. He's playing you and will become... _suggestive_. 

When he realises he is not getting the reaction he wants, he will revert to being a good angel. After punishment, your angel will need a cuddle, possibly for several hours. You can show your forgiveness by feeding him a custard cream (just the one, he's an opportunist).

Addendum: If he attempts to steal the Bentley because he 'misses the countryside', it is completely understandable that you would become incandescent with rage and also completely understandable that you would yell 'so the whole street can hear', and also _completely understandable_ that you would threaten to return him to the Bastille after giving him a bloody good hiding, and NO he won't enjoy it one little bit and this is NOT a game. 

**Bedroom time**

Your angel likes being made love to. He will indicate when he's ready for this, either by going pink, nuzzling, or becoming overtly flirty. The latter may involve 'acting out' - see above note about spanking. Your angel likes it when you put your hands on him. He likes feeling 'tingly' and 'watched over'. In these circumstances, you should definitely smack his bottom, as this will assist you in your duty.

Regarding intercourse, a good servicing will take approximately one hour of ardent love-making, with your angel utterly wanton and hopeless beneath you. He will not want to top, preferring to completely abdicate responsibility and instead recline decadently in all the pillows whilst you see to him. You will have to do all the work, but by this time, you should see an improvement of anywhere up to 60% more compliance from your angel. For best results, ensure he experiences climax multiple times. He should be a complete and utter mess - happily tired out - giving you no further trouble for up to 48 hours.

**A good night's sleep**

Your angel says he doesn't like to sleep because there are too many books in the world that need reading, but going long-term without sleep or proper rest means he can become irascible. It's a good idea to convince him that having sweet dreams will inspire good angel behaviour. Also tell him it would make you happy. Important note: make sure he doesn't wake up and go scurrying off into the night getting into trouble with gangster demons whilst you're still asleep.

Therefore, with good feeding, love, hope, and performing your sacred husband duties, you will be doing right by your angel in his time of need. 


End file.
